Published by Mark Matloff, Ph.D.

• Announcement
• Living In Three Worlds: Before, Now and Later
• About the Author
• Subscription, Un-subscription, Questions

Announcement

I am proud to announce that my new web site is now launched. Please come and visit! Let me know what you think of it!

The web site is PathwaystoHarmony.

I hope that it will become a resource for you, and I expect it to continue to grow and offer valuable tools for you. It will soon host my new e-book as well as a variety of exciting products. And, starting now, you can read and print out past newsletters.

So come back often! It's great to have guests.

Warmly,

Mark

Try this experiment. For the next few minutes, notice what you are thinking about. And notice the tense of your thoughts: past, present, or future. How much of your time do you spend thinking about events that have happened, about things that are going on right now, or about something you anticipate in your own future?

We live in three different worlds. Each world can give us valuable wisdom and teach us useful lessons. Each world can also bind up our energy and keep us stuck.

One world is the world of "Before." This world holds our memories of the things that we have done and experienced, good and bad. Our past can teach us useful lessons it also can give us beautiful memories to savor. 

It is possible, unfortunately, to get stuck in the past. Oftentimes, people hash and rehash the bad things that happened in their lives. This cruel form of nostalgia robs them of joy in the present and hope for the future. They may become afraid to try anything new, because of their painful memories. Others can glamorize and romanticize their past. This too can take the zest out of the present.

The world of "Later" is the future. This contains our desires, fears, and actual expectations of what will be. We all need to spend some time in that world, as we set goals, make plans, and motivate ourselves to change.

Some people can get stuck in the world of "Later." How often have you caught yourself thinking, "Things will be great when I get that job, meet that person, make that much money, have that success, etc. (you can fill in your own desired future), but until that happens I won't feel complete or content." Others can talk themselves into feeling so much dread that they have no energy for the present. They are trapped in frightened speculation. If you live only for Later, you can miss out on the beauty and majesty of your life right now.

The world of "Now" is the present. It consists of what is actually happening in our immediate experience, as well as our thoughts and reactions to what is going on. Of our three worlds, this is the most real place, where we can have the most real impact. The past is history, which we cannot change - although we can come to understand it. The future is fantasy, as it has not yet happened. We can anticipate it, but it's not real until it happens (until it becomes the present). The present exists to experience, enjoy, and learn from.

At the same time, people can get stuck in the present. They can be so involved with what is going on right now that they fail to see a mistake that they may be repeating, or a potential obstacle, which they could avoid - which would make their life better.

And it gets even more interesting.

Our worlds are constantly shifting. Once upon a time, what is now your past was your future. And someday soon your present will be your past.

So, where is the best place for us to be?

This is a personal decision. For me, it is good to be in touch with all three of our worlds - because they all can give value and wisdom to our lives.

Here are some ideas:

1. Respect your history: enjoy what was enjoyable, and learn from mistakes you have made.
   Your history adds to your wisdom.
    
2. Respect your future: make the plans you need to make to move you toward your desired goals.
   Keep your hopes and dreams in mind, as they guide you in your endeavors.
    
3. Live as much as you can in the present. Use your history and your future to savor your experiences RIGHT NOW.
    
4. Understand and appreciate the beauty and value that can come from visiting each of your three worlds.
    
5. Understand and appreciate how your three worlds contribute to each other.

Mark Matloff, Ph.D. is a psychologist, coach, trainer, and consultant with over 27 years of experience helping people and organizations change for the better.

When he is not at work, he teaches and practices at Aikido of Central New York, where he has trained for more than fifteen years. Mark is convinced that martial arts, especially Aikido, contain useful and powerful lessons for better living. He believes that the Aikido approach can strengthen our ability to improve ourselves - especially when combined with the teachings of psychology.

He feels that the resulting mind/body connection holds great promise, power, and purpose, for improving our lives. He lives with his wife in Syracuse, New York. He loves to help people envision and achieve the changes they want.

CONTACT HIM FOR A COMPLIMENTARY COACHING CONSULTATION

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Mark Matloff, Ph.D.
409 Standish Drive
Syracuse, NY 13224
(315) 446-3101